For the past two years I have been supporting the Eden Reforestation Project, a brilliant initiative which sets about replacing trees and creating new woodland environments. Today, I declare that every 25% of royalties I recieve through people buying my books will be donated to them. To put that into perspective, tree saplings are only £0.08p each, thus every book sold will now plant at least three trees somewhere in the world. Let’s green the land back together as responsible book lovers 🌲🌳💚🌍
AGE: 0-10 Initially incontinent. Occasional domestic, social and financial vexation. 11-20 Wannabe adult. Think I know all but really know sod all. Definate domestic, social and financial vexation. 21-30 Can do what I like there’re years left in me. 31-40 This is right. Not old but older and wiser than the MoFo’s in the last two. 41-50 FUCK! Where’s the last two decades gone? I had it better than all above at that age. 51-60 Nearly a pensioner, just gonna keep my head down now. 61-70 I’ll probably be dead soon. Double check my last will. 71-80 Why am I even still here? Not many of my lot left alive. 81-90 School bully was buried last week. I’m still standing, yea yea yea. 😆⚰️ 91-100 My autisms playing me up. If I die before I reach 3 figures I’ll be so fucking angry. 101-110 God I’m bored. Just end it. While I sleep obviously. 111+ I’m Britains oldest person. Everyone wants a selfie with me. I could be up for a Guiness record at this rate. God, life is good! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
… Hang on… I’m sitting in my own shit again like at the start of section one!?!
Uber proud of my beloved English Pointer right now for clocking up over 130km and raising £200 for Guide Dogs charity this month, thats on top of the £105 she raised for Alzheimer’s Society earlier this year