0-10 Initially incontinent. Occasional domestic, social and financial vexation.
11-20 Wannabe adult. Think I know all but really know sod all. Definate domestic, social and financial vexation.
21-30 Can do what I like there’re years left in me.
31-40 This is right. Not old but older and wiser than the MoFo’s in the last two.
41-50 FUCK! Where’s the last two decades gone? I had it better than all above at that age.
51-60 Nearly a pensioner, just gonna keep my head down now.
61-70 I’ll probably be dead soon. Double check my last will.
71-80 Why am I even still here? Not many of my lot left alive.
81-90 School bully was buried last week. I’m still standing, yea yea yea. 😆⚰️
91-100 My autisms playing me up. If I die before I reach 3 figures I’ll be so fucking angry.
101-110 God I’m bored. Just end it. While I sleep obviously.
111+ I’m Britains oldest person. Everyone wants a selfie with me. I could be up for a Guiness record at this rate. God, life is good! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
… Hang on… I’m sitting in my own shit again like at the start of section one!?!