Rhymes we sang in UK as kids but never when adults were about:
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bathroom mat,
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
And piddled all over the cat.
What do you do when you’re dying for a poo
In an English country garden,
You pull down your pants and you suffocate the ants
In an English country garden
Tarzan in the jungle sneaking through the grass,
Along came an elephant and kicked him up the
Assssk no questions tell no lies,
I saw a policeman doing up his
Fliiiies are a nuisance bees are worse,
This is the end of my silly little verse.
My wife’s a cow
My wife’s a cow
My wife’s a cow keepers daughter.
She licks her ol’
She licks her ol’
She licks her old Johnnie Walker.
I saw her ass
I saw her ass
I saw her assking for water.
Ohhh my wife’s a cow
My wife’s a cow
My wife’s a cow keepers daughter.
Kermit the frog,
Got smacked in the gob,
For messing about with Miss Piggy.
He undone her zip,
And out popped her tit,
Then showed her his little green willy.
People think it’s funny but it’s really brown and runny,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
I was walking down the lane and I felt a sudden pain,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
I tried to climb a tree but it trickled down my knee,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
I tried to wipe my bum and it dribbled down my thumb,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
Don’t pull the chain I think it’s coming again,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
It shoot’s out your bum like a bullet from a gun,
diarrhea, diarrhea.
Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
A thousand volts went up it’s arse,
And turned its wool to nylon.
Oh mummy mummy mummy,
I’ve done it in my nappy,
It’s big and brown,
I can’t sit down,
I picked it up with paper,
And ate it like a wafer,
It’s yum yum yum,
It’s out my bum.
My brother Billy had a ten foot willy
And he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it’s only five foot four
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